I don’t know why I watched this, but I did.

And I can feel maybe only a fraction of what those people felt on that day and will continue to live with for the rest of their lives; those who were even fortunate enough to escape this atrocity alive. Reading the news every day you can start to grow numb to some things, just to be able to cope. These last few days have been hard, really hard. There’s a great amount of evil in this world, and I believe slowly very slowly it’s overpowering the exorbitant amount of good.

I know news doesn’t do much in the way of helping show the good over bad, we practically shove the mass murders and drug busts in your face. But we don’t do it to be cruel, we don’t do it to be harsh. We do it because it’s our duty.

At least that’s how I’ve chosen to look at it. It’s my job to keep you updated in the world you live in. The good, the bad and the ugly. It’s my job to fact check and double check and check again so I can be a credible source for your news and the information you choose to ingest. It’s my job to think on my toes, break the news and help you understand just a little bit of what the world is going through.

I by no means am the first one to know the news. I’m locked in, but sometimes I need a break too. I need to be able to learn information and listen to stories from other people about other people. That’s part of my job too.  I don’t mean ‘job’ in the sense of work, I mean job as in what I feel is my moral duty and what I’ve decided to contribute to society.

I don’t try and fill my headlines with gruesome details or the latest mass murder.

Unfortunately it’s rather effortless these days to fill your newscast with death and drugs and rebellion and appalling acts to the human race.

What’s harder is the light-hearted, prideful and supportive stories. Because as much as you say you want to see the baby kitties getting rescued, you really want to know what it was rescued from… What happened that they had to get rescued… And so on.

Maybe that’s just me?
Maybe I have become entirely numb?

I want to know the nitty gritty details. I’m enticed by the terrible. The horrible. The evil. It’s not pleasure I get out of it, no. It almost keeps me grounded. It reminds me other people are going through struggles far worse. It keeps me informed. Like I’m trying to do for you.

I don’t thrive on horror, I thrive on being able to provide the accurate story and spreading those details to whoever I can so that maybe someone can get the justice they deserve. Or maybe somebody will figure out a better cure to the violence and hatred.

Here’s a heart warming video one of my colleagues showed me about hardship, struggling with your inner demons and then growing to accept something and allowing it to be a positive impact on your life. It’s 13 minutes, but if you’re looking for the silver lining I would take the time and watch.