This picture is two fold. Well actually, there are many facets to this photo you would totally glaze over if you weren’t in that exact moment with me at that exact time.
This picture is, essentially, a candid (my fav). This picture is me being adorable. This picture is Michael putting aside his hate for photos because I asked. This picture is Michael making me happy. This picture is me being a naggy bitch.
I love my sweet boy. He’s kind and curious and gentle and most of the time utterly hilarious. But sometimes, I’m really horrible at appreciating all of his attributes. And honestly, it’s not just with him, but for this example it is. The day started with me nagging him to get ready, I wanted to make it to Penticton to go to an ice cream place, do a hike and go to this burger place. I’ve had it mapped out in my head for weeks as my mother and sister are in town and I want to show them a good time! It’s not like I ever communicated any set time to do all of these things, but for some reason I expected everyone to know. For some reason, I expected everyone to want to do everything I wanted to do. They love me, so they did. But I probably could’ve asked instead of demanded. Anyways- the day continues with a fun drive to Penticton, but first a stop for gas. I almost wrote, “Michael graciously offered to get out and fill the car for me,” when in fact I fully just expected it. I’m sure I asked nicely, but I still expected it. After paying, he returned with what I assumed were lotto tickets- me getting eagerly angry- realizing it was just Hubba Bubba and he probably got it because he knows I like it; I relaxed only slightly.
*When this blog started, it was only going to be to talk about the one moment in the one picture. This was until I realized what the day really held of my naggy and demanding attitude. He’ll say I wasn’t bad, he’ll defend me. But we all know the exact person I was being and we’ve all either experienced it or been the nagger.
The day continues with a trip to Tickleberry’s in Okanagan Falls, an adorable ice cream place I’ve been waiting to go to since we heard about it months ago (it’s only open seasonally).
Ooh, a sparkly door- can we take a picture? He obliges. I look at the one picture we were able to take and I’m pissed.
“Why are you making that face?”
“I’m smiling… I thought I looked good.”
I don’t even remember if I quipped back with something rude, probably.
“Well we both look ridiculous, I’m not even going to post that.”
The day continues with a hike on the Kettle Valley Railway Trail up in Naramata. He doesn’t complain the whole time, even though I know his shoes are killing his feet and he’s not really dressed for the exercise. I ask him to take pictures of me, he does. I ask him to take pictures with me, he does. But this time, I ensure he’s not making that stupid face. Uggghhhhh I’m horrible. Here’s the succession in which the pictures went, we take a pic, I realize he’s probably doing that weird face, I’m making a weird face because I have food in my mouth, I try and fix his face (awh cute, a candid of me being an utter bitch, but to the outside world an adorable girlfriend playing with her adorable boyfriend.PFFFT.) We take one last pic of our faces pretty much entirely unchanged. I look at the pictures and go, yeah you keep making a weird face today, but it’s okay because I look weird too.
WHAT. WHAT EVEN. WHAT. It’s okay because I’m making a weird face too!?!?!??!? I would actually lose my fricken mind if he tried to pull what I just pulled. But it’s okay! Because I look weird too! Oh well, I think, I’ll salvage this pic into something adorable for Instagram! Because that’s what a relationship is all about! No. It’s not. Which is why I’m writing this post.
No, not all candids/pictures happen this way. No, I don’t usually act like this. But sometimes, I do, I really do. And you better beeeeeliiiieeevvveee I know you all do it too. NObody is perfect. Not one person, nor should they be. But why do we pretend we are? Why do we try and put on this perfect face and pretty smile? It’s fricken exhausting. I’ve half given in and half given up. I’m fairly honest on social media, but heck yeah I put on a show sometimes. We all do. Is it because we want people to look up to us? Do we do it to benefit ourselves? I do believe it’s our insecurities. It starts off small in our minds, but we knit pick ourselves so much and compare ourselves so much that we end up in this fake virtual reality with each other. I don’t comment on people’s social media if I’m not being 100% truthful, so it can often come off as fake or conceded because THAT’S WHAT WE’RE USED TO. There have been a few times in my life I’ve had to explain myself in saying why the hell would I waste my time fake complimenting you. If I’m taking time out of my day to say something to you or about you on your post, it IS genuine. I know that may seem hard to believe considering I just told you sometimes I take time out of my life to post pics that may be faker than they seem. But that’s my own personal thing. I’m still spending time on me in that sense. Anyways, I’ve rambled enough for the morning. All I’m saying is we need to stop using social media as a shield. A cover up. It’s a way to reach out, raise people up, and ultimately communicate our real world. At least it should be. I truly believe that’s what it was intended for. So next time you beg your significant other, best friend, family member, or dog for pictures… Maybe ask if it’s okay, and be more than appreciative when they give up their time to stand usually awkwardly with you while someone else captures those moments together.
Michael, as my blog has basically become my personal diary, I’m sorry in advance for spewing our relationship online. And I don’t know if you’ll read this, but you’re the love of my life and I’m proud of you and us every day. I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anybody else. Xx