I’ve been toying with what I want this blog to really be about, for the past few months it’s mostly been lifestyle; a recounting of personal events. But I think I may have finally settled on something. More of a “let me try it, so you don’t have to” kind of feel. And as per usual, I’m planning to bite off more than I can chew! Starting with… Affiliate marketing!

WTF is affiliate marketing

You know those sponsored videos that keep popping up on social media? Or you have those friends that claim they quit the “9-5 grind” and now they get to “travel the world.” Wow! How DO they do it! By doing this shit called affiliate marketing. I’m a huuuuuuuuge skeptic. I mean huge. Not just of this, of most things, but this is pretty high on the list. How can I possibly make full-time money, at home, by putting up some cheesy videos on social media? Well, this is what I’m about to find out. I’m so over these vague, repeat videos, I need to know more. If it’s true, if it works, fucking great. If it’s a scam (as I’m predicting) then I get to run through the streets saying “I told you so!” So WTF is affiliate marketing? I don’t know. Because no one will tell me. Which seems very cult-like. Essentially I’ve read a bit between the lines and you’re paying a membership (and money out of pocket) to sell people’s services and products and the more people you get to bite into this theory and sign up under YOU, the more $$$ you bring in. Well, I’m horrible at sales, but I think I’m a decently compelling and convincing person. So if they say all I need to do is reel them in… Well, this just might work!

A follow came onto my Instagram, who just so happens to be part of this worldwide phenomenon, so I bit. I watched the 20 minute video, I signed up for the $1 14-day trial, I followed up with the email, and I liked the Facebook page. As to not throw this company or individual entirely under the bus, I’m going to keep names etc rather vague. Once I potentially start ‘selling’ this theory, it will become rather obvious. But just go with it.

So far, I’ve received emails and text messages to become my own millionaire! WOOHOO! Apparently, they can train my mind to become an entrepreneur and I only have to Skype with my “coach” who isn’t actually the person who followed me on Instagram(?) to unlock the next steps to having an aspiring online business! Through watching the founders message as well as the original video, it’s become clear that they’re trying to drill a specific message into your mind.

Sign up with us, so you can spend time with the ones you love.

Somehow, through this online world, I’m going to make enough money to supplement my income so I can really focus on the things and people I care about. God, I hope that’s true. And,

It’s ALL done for you. It’s ALL done for you.

That sneaky phrase is repeated at least a dozen times or more. If you complete all the steps, work at it for 30 days and still haven’t made a dollar– they’ll pay you $500! They are so confident in this program that they’re willing to throw $500 out if you don’t make any money. So here’s what you have to do for that money back guarantee:

  1. Finish all the steps (there’s 6 of them) in 14 days or less
  2. Invest at least 30minutes a day to complete the program
  3. Read and take action on all materials (idk what that means?)
  4. Keep in constant contact with your coaches and take their suggestions
  5. Watch ALL training videos and attend ALL webinars LIVE (learn this stuff, it will change your life)

Alright. Well, this is a fully submersible experiment so here it goes!


Am I supposed to be taking notes during this? Oh apparently I’m supposed to be interacting quite aggressively with my coach during this. Kk, be back in 50 minutes.

Well the first, I’d say, 20 minutes I got to hear again about this person’s life and start up and history. I get it. You now travel the world with your family whenever you want. Now we dive- kind of- into the world of ascension models and high ticket items. Basically, it’s easier for you and you’re making more money if you sell high priced items. Then you sell less of them for a higher profit. It’s like magic, I guess. There were already a couple product placements throughout the videos, which they no doubt get a nice chunk of change for. After all, advertising is key, and the price for it is on the rise! (That is actually quite true). It isn’t until about the majority of the way through where they vaguely drop hints about you having to spend thousands of dollars to make thousands of dollars. Hmm. I’m broke, so how is that supposed to work? Funny, they don’t gloat about that much in their videos….

*Sidenote, since signing up for this program, hauntingly enough my sponsored ads on Facebook now ALL pertain to something related to online marketing. Funny how the internet works, isn’t it!?

Anyways, I have homework to do apparently… Write down my 2 main breakthroughs from step 1 and you guessed it, watch another video!


As much as I DO agree with this, that you can’t just dive head first and not think about the end goal, I also have no money. Towards the middle of this video, it became abundantly clear that I would be required to spend a pretty penny (even my own family’s money!)- and who knows if it’ll work? They say it does! But again, I’m a huge skeptic. They list 11 ways to find funding. Immediately I was questioning what I was finding funding for… You still haven’t told me exactly what I’m doing here. I’m beginning to think this whole thing is going to be full of vague videos, perhaps that’s just the first steps so they don’t give it away? What will happen when I pay the $37 membership fee and unlock all these portals? Magic money? That’s what they’re promising! I’m doing the marketing for these companies, and if they get bites I get cash. So slowly, they’re showing me ways to get the most out of online marketing, so I too can be a millionaire! I don’t really understand why companies don’t just do this themselves…? That part is a little hazy to me.

My assignment was, of course, to write down the key notes and watch another video, which was actually of some interest! It talked all about traffic, how you get traffic, ensuring your demographic is correct etc. I didn’t check to see how much time was left in the video once! So that really is my key note. I finally reached out to my coach too, and pretty much said I have no money- is this viable? We’ll see how that goes… Check back on the blog for what steps 3 & 4 hold!